Roger Clemens should have learned his lesson from The Simpsons

A collection of MLB superstars brought together to win a softball game ... what could go wrong?

The team was full of ringers — and they didn't stand a chance.

During the 1998 offseason, Roger Clemens held a charity softball game at Rice University in Houston, and he invited some of his major league friends to play, guys like Jose Canseco and Ken Caminiti and Mike Hampton. Former President George H.W. Bush was on their team, too.

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The MLB Bombers, as they were called, faced off against a top-flight 50-plus softball team sponsored by Clemens' longtime agent, Randy Hendricks. It rained so much ahead of the game, they ended up playing on the turf of Rice's football field, with the walls measured out at 300 feet.

A collection of MLB superstars brought together to win a softball game ... what could go wrong?

Sounds a lot like the classic 1992 Simpsons episode, "Homer at the Bat," when baseball’s finest, including Clemens, were enlisted for Monty Burns' softball team at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

But while the members of the MLB Bombers didn't cluck like chickens or develop gigantism, they did face a lot of misfortune.

The game was a blowout. The senior softball players won 26-7.

“These baseball players kind of thought it was going to be a big joke, and they found out that slow-pitch softball is a little different than baseball,” said Steven Callan, one of the softball players. “If they would've hit the ball straight as far as they hit 'em straight up in the air, they would've gone a mile.”

(The softball team poses with former President George H.W. Bush, Nov. 14, 1998. Photo courtesy of Steven and Kathy Callan)

Softball legend Winkey Blackman was one of the stars that day, pitching five innings and going 4-for-4 at the plate, per the Daily Tribune (Georgia) News. Hendricks had some success of his own, too.

"I hit one out off of Mike Hampton," he said.

"Guys were hitting the ball 450 feet in the upper deck. You shoulda seen those big league guys drop their jaw."

The baseball stars' strengths -- namely, superior athletic ability and world-class pitching velocity -- were negated by the slow underhanded pitching and softball team's strategy. The softball players put spin on their pitches, used a defensive alignment with four outfielders, and worked the count while batting. "We walked eight times and they never walked. They swung at the first pitch," Hendricks said. "We gave him the entire right side of the field. You think they used it? No!"

For Callan, it was special to play against some of the best players in the world, even if they were playing a different sport.

"First time I got up, I got a hit off Clemens. I mean, how many people can say they got a hit off Roger Clemens?" Callan said.

Ken showed up in his shorts and dove for balls, playful and friendly and shaking hands with the softball players, “a very genuine, nice guy,” Callan remembers. Some of the major league players were insulted. This was the biggest blowout of their lives.

“(Ken) wasn't acting like he was better than we were, a big shot or anything like that,” Callan said.

Longtime Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton lent his voice, and Holy Toledo! — during the game, it was announced that Ken had re-signed with Houston, taking a hometown deal worth $9.5 million over two years.

"I'm an Astro, I'm an Astro," he said.

During his introductory press conference days later, Ken lobbied the Astros to sign his buddy and softball teammate, Clemens, who was then with the Blue Jays (Roger got traded to the Yankees later that offseason). Rocket's time with Houston would come years later.

At the time of his signing, Ken was planning to wear uniform number 29, instead of the 11 he wore during his first stint with Houston from 1987 to 1993 -- Brad Ausmus was already wearing 11. Ausmus' wearing 11 for San Diego four seasons earlier was why Ken ended up wearing 21 for the Padres. But after Ausmus got traded to Detroit in January 1999, Ken was free to wear his number 11 as he called the Astrodome his home, once again.